Here’s something about me: I like to say “I want to understand ________” And it’s true. I definitely do want to understand the majority of things. So, here is my latest question marked mind-boggling scenario.
I remember the very heightened part of my dating life. And believe me it was fun. But I would study the reactions and responses from men I was dating. And if there was something about them that I didn’t like, then I would ask for it to be changed or I would just disappear. It’s so strange to understand but a major habit of mine is to run. I am a runner. It is so hard for me to sit and listen to some sh*& that I don’t want to listen to… like REALLY don’t want to listen to. And excuses was always something I couldn’t stand from many men. I think I always wanted the old fashioned chivalry in a sense, but that’s a story for another day.
Him: “What are you doing?”
Me: “Nothing… hbu?”
Him: “Ahh not much, so when can I come over?”
I recently had a conversation with a friend and she told me she feels like she was mad at this man with whom she had a similar conversation with and he was asking to come over. I said to her… “Think about where your decision is ultimately coming from. Is it coming from a place of vulnerability or a place of confidence. If you are dating this man and you’re comfortable with him like that, then don’t let society’s opinions get in the way of your happiness.” By all means, be cautious if you just met the person.
******Now, STOP and read that over again. Got it?*******
Here is how I approached the above scenario: So, my problem was never them coming over. It was the fact they never asked HOW are you doing? Because how I am doing matters more to me than what I am doing. And to be honest, it should matter to a man thats truly interested in you. And that goes both ways. But you need to communicate that to the person you’re seeing or talking to. Because they might have dealt with a different type of woman that didn’t like the same things you like, etc.
Here’s something I don’t like: When you say “All Men Cheat”… There isn’t one man on this earth that doesn’t like to be romanced. Men need that. They need the surprise, they need you to allow them to be a man. If you don’t allow them to be a man and do the things THEY are telling you, then don’t be surprised if something comes up. I warned you. But if you are under the belief that ALL MEN CHEAT, please stop. I don’t agree. And it’s making it bad for many men. It is robbing them of true happiness either because they have cheated on someone they were with, or they have never cheated but you are treating them like they did. If someone never did something, then please stop treating them like they did something. It’s not fair. And you will lose them. Then when your man comes to you with the same concerns, its ok for you to be treated differently because you’re a woman? I never really liked those types of judgmental stereotypes. These are our men!! These men are the future for our sons that we give birth to!! Don’t be like that. But I am getting carried away…