I laid on the bed next to him. I knew that my flaws were sprawled all over his comforter but he didn’t mind, He took the ones that were beautifully transparent in the sunlight; like a rose petal, and lifted them up. He gave me more hope than I had ever thought a human could. I rubbed his face. I am so drawn to him. And it doesn’t make sense to just stare at him right now without kissing those lips.
Jesus, he sees me staring at him. “Hi” I say. Inside my mind I am rolling my eyes at myself for being so weird. But then he laughed. and I saw the cute little chip on his tooth. I would delete my entire past of nobodies for another lifetime of him. Essentially I am insulting those I used to be with. Because I have such a tunnel vision when it comes to him. And it’s not unhealthy. It’s like this…
I am walking along in my life at a little bit of a slow pace. So he comes along and sees that. He doesn’t beat me down and tell me I am a worthless bitch that comes from a long line of worthless bitches… he tells me that he will never dim my candle and I am a queen who deserves a king. And that I can do anything I want to with hard work and dedication. And he loves my energy.
In todays society we like to quantify how much someone loves or cares for you by materials. If I did that, then I guess I would be broke when it comes to him. He benefits my soul. His wisdom and conversation are so helpful. We could just talk and vibe for hours if we want to. With no pressure. Pressure bursts pipes. I looked forward to being around him.
“What are you doing later tonight” He asked
“Nothing actually” I said, “I have tonight off.”
“Lets get together.” He said, I could see the smile on his face
We didn’t have to fake what we were around each other when we were in the presence of one another. In all honesty, I couldn’t wait to see him. I mean, of course. “oh shit” I thought to myself. I definitely just felt a little flip in my heart. “What if I love him?” A part of me felt that was the dumbest thought ever. As if thats going to stop the world. He never really seemed to interested in a relationship with me. But he sticks around. I wonder if he even likes me like that.
“El’Aundra…Hello.. are you ok?” He got off the bed and came over to me. “Hey… babe are you ok? Is it something I said?”
No, it wasn’t something you said. How was I going to tell him it was something I said?
“Nope, just feeling a little headache. And yes, I would absolutely love to see you later.”
He kissed me. I felt like I was floating. I love kissing him. Right now I just wanna crawl back under the covers with him and cruise.